Okay, so I haven't been really motivated to get rid of stuff yet this year. Really is that such a problem? I know that New Year's Resolutions are supposed to come into effect immediately, but really is January the best time to be going through the storage room and digging through all that stuff. Wouldn't it be better to do it in the spring when the weather is nicer and I can open up all the windows and get some real air in there and scare all those skeletons out into the light where they should be. Okay who am I trying to kid, right now is the best time for me to be doing that stuff. I have a whole bunch of time on my hands. I keep thinking that I should be doing it and then I find something much more entertaining to do. Yes, I said it. Entertaining - not productive.

Am I convincing you that I shouldn't be working on it? No I didn't think so. I am not doing a very good job of convincing me either.

This blog is about getting rid of the stuff that isn't working for me anymore. And so far I have done a lot of talking about motivation, and planing to get stuff done. Maybe this is the problem... I don't want to get to work because I would rather blog about not wanting to do it.

Wow! How self destructive is that?!?!?!?

I have a stack of newspapers that I have been picking through slowly. When I pick up a paper on the bus or the coffee shop I read most of it and do the puzzles in the back, then I flip through and check the headlines. If there is something I want to read I put the paper in the pile, and it gets forgotten. I started looking at it a couple of days back and got through about half of it, but to do the papers means that some other stuff I do everyday gets postponed. Now I have to think about my everyday routines might change and how and where.

Big thoughts, it is a little too late in the evening for such big thoughts.

Maybe I will procrastinate on it tomorrow....

So 2012 was supposed to be my year to downsize....

Really kinda makes me laugh. I had such good intentions. So here I am almost a year later, and very little decluttering has happened. I started this blog on January 2, and ironically it is December 30. The irony is that I started a day late and I am closing up a day early.

I have had a really busy year, a lot of personal break-throughs and a lot of personal growth. Life has decided I can handle everything it wanted to throw at me in 2012. And I made it! I made it through alive.

I have been working on some New Year's Resolutions...

I never make resolutions at New Year's, because it really is the worst time of year to be making sweeping ultimatum like changes in ones life. Think about it for a few minutes...

...............

December and January are the coldest months of the year, and the darkest, and most of the northern animal population is in hibernation. And we crazy humans decide that this is the time to make big life-changing decisions. Did I already say Crazy?

But this year I think I am going to make an exception. I am making a decision to clear out my life. Of all kinds of crap, the physical kind: like clutter and body image stuff, the emotional stuff: like friendships that aren't working for me. And above all else I need to get rid of the mental crap, the memories and habits that I have been holding on to for way too long that are no longer serving me in my personal growth.

I know it is big and sweeping. But really, I have had it. I am done being the victim. I am not saying I have been victim of others, I have been victimizing myself. I guess that is call playing the martyr. Well I am done with it.

So this is my resolution:

I am not going to keep anything in my life that doesn't serve my higher good.

There I said it.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year, and all the best in 2013!

I have noticed lately, (and months past) that some of the Quilting Bloggers post their 'finishes' for the quarter.

I figure there must be something more to this but don't have time right now to figure it out.

So I am going to post my own 'finishes' for this quarter.

(How long is a quarter? Is it really only 3 months?)

I am going to start small. I have a huge amount of WIP, for the time I have been quilting compared to the time that I quilt. I guess I could blame it on the ADD, but I hate to place blame.

I started this in 2009. I am making a quilted checkerboard for my nephew. (He now has a little brother) So Nephews. Maybe they can get it for Christmas...

 

I need a pouch for my laptop, so I have started to put together something out of my favorite colors. I am keeping this one secret, cause I am really excited about it. But here is my idea bundle...  (I don't actually want to get this one 'finished'. I want to get one side of it finished.)

It looks SO purple, it actually is a burgundy wine color, I hate the way a flash distorts colors. This is a pair of dress slacks from the nineties, that I hacked up and am going to make a new bag out of. I am thinking black for the trims etc. 

How does this relate to Downsizing? I have too much on the go, so if I get some stuff done/finished maybe my head won't be so cluttered. Or maybe I am just using it as an excuse to do some quilting. 

Well Happy Sunday. I gotta go now, so much to do, so little time. 

I am gonna talk about my stuff.

I moved into this place just more than a year ago, and I have been terrible about getting my recycling done. Like I keep forgetting to put it out in the blue box. So it has kinda built up. It has been collecting in boxes by my front door, getting bigger and bigger. I made the decision yesterday that it needs to go. And go now. So it all got opened up and sorted into categories, plastics, metals, paper, etc. And this time all those boxed got shoved out to the car. Which of course is only possible because I finally made it to a bottle depot to return the stuff that has been in the trunk since September... oops! Little low on motivation this year. So now all this recycling is in my car filled the trunk and most of the backseat, on Friday evening. What was I thinking? The recycler isn't open on the weekends, I am going to have to wait til Monday, uggh.

But I was feeling pretty good about getting it out of the house and now it is not coming back in, no matter what. I kicked it out, it has no place in my home anymore.

I have read that Brooks Palmer book and I am taking it to heart. I have the right to tell my stuff to get out. I might have to help it out the door, but I gotta tell it.

Next on my list is my hoarded charity donations. Will share how much stuff I have been holding on to that I want to go to charity. You will either laugh at me or cry for me. I am learning to laugh about it.

Okay, it is time for a fresh start on the fresh start.

I was at work last night and I walked by the book aisle and saw Brooks Palmer's book Clutter Busting. I have been following him on blogger for a while now. I bought the book on my break. I didn't have time to read much of it on my breaks last night, but have been reading it today.

I so badly want to get out from under my stuff. I see now how much it is holding me back, holding me hostage. I took a bunch of before pictures because when I get down to work it tends to be spontaneous, and I always forget to take before pics. So they are all ready to go saved in the camera, and when I make some progress I will be able to show what it was like before.

I am excited about this journey, I've always had the desire to change but up til now I haven't had the tools or the motivation to do anything about it. Now things are different. I want it, I want to do it, and I know how.

I am working graveyard shift still, so progress might be slow. But this is going to be a gentle journey, I am freeing my soul and spirit from under all this clutter. I have been collecting some of it for many years. I won't be able to get through all of it in a couple of days, I need to do what I can when I can. I don't want to get overwhelmed and just give up, let the junk stay, there is nothing I can do about it. That is so negative thinking. I want out of that trap. Now.

This blog is about my decluttering. Over the past few weeks I have realized that there is more to declutter than physical stuff. I am going to do one of those difficult personal decluttering things today, I am going to return the dvd's I borrowed from my now ex-boyfriend. I have been worrying about doing this for about a month now, way too long. I know that stalling on it is holding me back and that I am only hurting myself in the process. There is a lot of emotional garbage attached to this particular situation that I am having trouble processing. These dvd's are sitting by my front door reminding me everyday that I have not dealt with the hurt that this man has caused me, not to mention that every once in a while I get a text message from him demanding that I return them 'tonight'. I am tired of reacting to these messages and want the whole situation to be finished. So I made a date with a friend to do it today, Monday. I am still pretty anxious, but it needs to be done.

Before Pictrues...

I keep doing stuff at home and not taking before photos. I seem to putter around for a while and then all of a sudden something is done, but I haven't made the decision to do it. I want to be taking after pictures but they are really no good to me without the before. Kinda frustrating.

Like today I tidied up my bedroom, okay bad example I am not going to post a before (or any picture) of my bedroom. At least not until I get it just the way I want it. I have a lot of work to do in there, because I can close the door it is easy to hide my disaster. I know it is a bad habit, 'throw it in there and I will deal with it later'. The problem so far is that I haven't been dealing with it later. I guess 'later' hasn't come yet.

Wow profound realization. One day at a time doesn't include 'later'. Living in the present is right now, not 'later'. I can't believe it has taken me 30 yeas to realize this.

Well I guess that means I need to get something done in the 'right now'.